DIARY ENTRY 1: EXPECTATIONS

(So ummm….. I have had this blog post sitting in my draft folder since January (heh). Every time I opened it I was not satisfied with what I wrote so I never published it, BUT I AM PUBLISHING IT NOW!!!

The other day I got an email from WordPress about how I had to pay for my blog and domain again and it made me sad because I have not written anything this year (well, that is a lie, I did write a extremely good letter to my boss about how unhappy I am (LOL)) and it made me think how much I crave it and miss it (as per usual). SO, here is the long awaited start of my “Diary Entries.”

P.s. I am not changing anything of it, and you will read it and pretend it is still January. )

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!! as I like to say, “new year, same me” (because lets be real, everyone likes to say “new year, new me” because we are expected do what we did not do the previous year and we like to believe that we are going to, even though we know damn well that we will not do any of those things)

ANYWAYS! since it is the new year, I thought “why not start the project that I said that I will start last year (heh). I thought that talking about “expectations” is a great way to start the year and the “new era” of Virginia Rodriguez. So, without further ado, lets get cracking.

I just turned 23, and getting (even) older got me thinking about the things that I have accomplished and the things that I wanted to have accomplished by this age. To be honest, this kind of freaked me out because I realized that I have not accomplished a lot of things that I wanted to accomplish by now (or so I thought).

This is something that puts me down daily because I feel like I am MEDIOCRE (do not feel bad for me, I already know I am) (LOL). I cannot help but feel that I not only let myself down, but also everyone else around me. I mean yes, I fullfilled everything that is expected of me to be done by now but, there is still this thought deep in my brain that tells me that I am not there yet. (which is something that I do not do anymore) (Well, not as much) (I mean, come on, I still do it all the time but lets pretend I am getting better ok?)

However, (PLOT TWIST!) after thinking about my goals and lack of expected achievements achieved (is this correct?) (I hope my journalism advisor does not see this) I realized that we, human beings, like to pressure ourselves into doing things that we are not ready to do (this can be emotionally and/or mentally).

We put so much pressure on ourselves not because we want to be someone by a certain time, but because society *wants us* to be that person by a certain time; society expects us to dress a certain way, act a certain way, like a certain person, go to school, then go to university and get a degree, then get a job, and then get married and have kids (ALL THIS BY THE AGE OF 25 (?????????)) (in some cases sooner) (which, ummm no).

What I am trying to say with this lengthy (and probably absurd) blog post is that I have realized (after countless hours spent googling if I am normal) that we put ourselves down for a timeline that we do not set ourselves, society does, and we think that we are failing in life because we are not who we are EXPECTED to be by a certain age.

Everyone has a different time for everything. We are (should be) allowed to do things when we are ready to do things, not when people tell us when to do them. We are all different, (duh) not everyone will finish things by the “expected age” and that is totally fine. We write our own books and we should be able to choose how the chapters in it are going to be written… do not let anyone tell you how to write your book and when each chapter should be finished.

Well, that is all!

I hope it makes sense.

It probably does not because my brain thinks in three different languages and I do not know what I am typing half of the time.

Anyways, enough rambling.

Until next time!

(Which hopefully will not be in 11 months)

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